How `bout me...??

Tahang,Adith,Alan.I have a lot of names,as if those were some kind of marks to different parts of my life.Sometimes I find it hard to remember which one is me now,maybe they`re all me,maybe not one of them this.I don`t know where the nametahang Come fro,I wrote that name a very long time.Some people still remember me as Tahang,maybe i`m still Tahang as I used to be called by my parents.

A lot of names just come up like that without any real meanings or background,as if they`re just grabbeb from thin air.I think Alandra was the name of my father`s father,but i`m not sure vof it.I`ve never asked my father because i`m sure he wouldn`t know anything about it.my father is the kind of man who`d never want to know about such detailed things.But how can i be so sure? I`ve been apart from him too long too know anything about my father. He`s no more than the last name that I took,last name i know nothing about yet I`ve attached behind the name Alan. I`ve never been called Mr.Alandra since,it has been demoted into some kind of invisible middle name.I`ve never been certain what the use middles names are. I want to dig deeper into my own mind,trying to understand the real meaning of all that I could never find,For a long time,my mind has been filled with a grey smoke that make everything turns into a mere blur.Maybe I`ve tried to understand my mind by telling this story, I can`t see anything now. Everything has turned into a maze of blurry pictures.